Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so let's talk penis.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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