The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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