I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
