their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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