Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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