I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
