yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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