I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
