yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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