Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
