I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
