When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
