I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
