I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
