Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
