One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
