sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
