Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
