it was like his penis was on wheels.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
