His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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