I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
