ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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