Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
