She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My ass is underappreciated
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
