I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
