she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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