Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she peed on how many people?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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