we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize