I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
