Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
