So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
