TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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