You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
