i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
