how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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