i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
