Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
