you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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