Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I love you. Go after that dick
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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