Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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