I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
