Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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