Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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