Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
