So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
