Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize