Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
