Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
