Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to calm my uterus...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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