you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
