so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we made out on top of his cat.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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