I got her a Nickelback box set.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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