At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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