someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Randomize
