bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
