im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
