and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
