Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
