My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
