I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
