eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
