well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
