why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We are all done wearing pants today
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize