I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My dick has a subreddit
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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