Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
