dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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