Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
