So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Randomize
