I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
