pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
