Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
