I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
