the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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