So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
