i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
