Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
