their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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