no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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