no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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