I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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