I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm going to jail i love you
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
