We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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